words losing all meaning
thoughts flowing without any reasoning
god!!sobriety is really hurting
brain pounding hands trembling
the feeling of control is so debilitating..
the wounds deep inside reemerging
the pain once drowned by gallons of booze resurrecting
memories once cherished are all but fleeting
overshadowed by betrayals
and reminders of my own meteoric rise and eventual falling..
ah what one would give to go back to the starting
to a new life which would be of my own choosing
alas now im down to imbecilic rhyming
and finding solace among words whilst discarding
any thoughts of myself finally proving
to the world constantly ‘opinionating’…
but if i could take to slashing
or even the noose tightening
it is with cowardice that i have always been grappling…
in the end i go back to my world of words convinced by my own lying….