The Pain I Long For

Pain long gone
Cuts again
Knives in my heart
Scars long since healed
Torn open
With reckless abandon
Tortured regrets
And bruises healed
Burn once more
Consuming me
The flames lick
At my divided soul
As the pain I thought
Id forgotten
Grabs me
Pulls me back
To it
To the failure,
The loss,
The brokenness
I thought id left behind
The sorrow,
Dark depression,
And icy tears
Long since dried
Come back in waves
A violent storm
Dark clouds
Rolling through
My temporarily blue mind
I feel once more
Despair
And I’m grateful
For the pain
Such things
Such violent torment
Should not be forgotten
Buried in time
Least by me