waiting,
and waiting,
for something that may never happen
and i picture exactly how you would tell her
in my mind
all of this and all that i
can think about is her
somehow
it doesn't feel as bad
as i thought it would

i feel like i should
but i don't
and i probably never will
and i just hope so much
that if you do
then you can find the courage
instead of just surpressing it

"love is just love"
this is not love
this i something so much bigger
and different
and for the first time in my life
somehow grown up
and my biggest accomplisment for today
is the life you helped me to create.

as much as i'd like to believe it
i know that things couldn't ever be the same
and they shouldn't be
and i keep going back to how
the snow smells so good
on a night when you've had all that you can take
when you've been taking
what you thought
was all that you could take
for your whole life
but winter is just so damn cold
and "thumbing my way", and the child i hardly know
are my only comforts
for today.