Comments by The Zebra Warrior
- "this had a nice flow, a bit baffling to read about midway through, not entirely sure what the whole intention of the poem is to say, but that's irrelevant to me, I tend to play off sounds as well as images, sometimes its just nice to 'hear' rather than see what's completing a poem: "A penny
A peep
Into bedlam
A lifetime
A mind
In hell.." Quite a different and enterprising opening with some nice rhythmic feel: peep, penny - bedlam/hell. I like this short intro muchly, although I admit you lost me wiht the second stanzary effort. Still I like the end, with the hearts and minds 'searing' and aglow; it's suitably poetic and uplifting and speaks of passion and burning; very nice..
"
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "Searing Blue" by carlosjackal
- "I'm digging the first line...what happened here, did you re-post this, edit it or something? You posted this a good while back originally, possibly late 06? I'm not sure, it has a post-Romantic perspective allied with some contemporary ideas presenting imagery. I like the DNA part especially and the rhythmic presentation of the sea. You make Brighton by nightfall very exotic and sensual, and that's a hard thing to do! Good swaying breezy wordplay....nice one scallyface!"
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "Big Draw City(By The Sea)" by carlosjackal
- "ohhhhhhh...you greasy bollock banger brains, this was a lush excorvationatesily dream-slipper! Nice title backed up by some odd fantasy-esque imagery and narrative, but why the heck did you put an orangatang in there?!?! Is it because you support Chelsea FC and they have a Handicap centre for yous guys?! Hah...different for you, what inspired this evocation numb-nuts?"
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "Moon Lady Of Phoenix Snow" by carlosjackal
- "love the breath each word places carefully attuned to the rhythmic syncopations of your mind,body and soul....this is a mature poetry of a man growing...brilliant!!"
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "Bound In Heart" by carlosjackal
- "I felt this.....the quiet line breaks underscore the heavyweight sentiment in this one....it was really a beautiful write bro...Brighton's star..."
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "42 Grams" by carlosjackal
- "this is fantastic man....slips and slides and DJ prowess to the electro dark beat....one of DPs more 'underground' protagonists....wikid man!!!"
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "verablue" by carlosjackal
- "evryone gets a little trapped.....don't forget the fire is a strong message....echos of Dylan Thomas's "rage against the dying of the light!!" nice one pal..."
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "Coursing Fire" by carlosjackal
- "succinct and remarkably distinct, sometimes we don't need the sweel of cacophony just simple and beautiful words to bathe in a while....very elegant and emotive Carl"
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "Coursing Fire" by carlosjackal
