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Nothing Else Matters
By MsBeHavinGal
Have you ever wondered about thinking what exactly are you doing here?
I have been totally numb for some time now ... living, but not really alive.
LIving day in and day out doing what I do best being a Mother and a True
Friend but I often think to myself what is out there? What am I missing?
Why am I here?
I know that is alot of deep deep thoughts and thinking going on ... but
do I really want to know the answers? I really don't think so or I would
of found them by now.
Lately I have been speaking my mind and telling people exactly what I think
... has it hurt a few people ... yeah, has it hurt me? No. You may think
it might be cruel speaking exactly what you think about the person but
you know what? It feels great once you let it out.
I guess I am teetering on my emotions anger, frustration, sadness, happy,
jealousy, hatred, numb ... I don't feel human, yet I have all these feelings
that says I am human. When is this all going to end? Or is it? Do I want
it to end? Or am I just ... I feel like I am stuck, stuck in the world
by myself like its only me and me alone against everyone... against the
world and I am putting up a damn good fight. But why? Is that instinct?
Or is it survival?
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© 2007 MsBeHavinGal
Published on Friday, April 20, 2007.
Filed under: "Reflective" and
"Journal"
Comments on "Nothing Else Matters"
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On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, Aunty Depressant
(434)
wrote:
mmm..sounds like you are not numb,..that you are alive...you feel many things. I see that you listed happy.I have recently re-picked up things I used to enjoy.
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On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, Aunty Depressant
(434) wrote:
I would think about what is is that makes you feel that way and pursue it more often.I've been teaching myself how to play a few instruments. And it was really neat to have someone say to me,'I did not know you were a musician'.
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On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, Aunty Depressant
(434) wrote:
Well I guess I did not know I was either. I started playing harmonica when I got upset, rather that snapping a rubber band on my wrist per a psychologists suggestion. I now am a musician..and my wrist all the more happier I am thinking.
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On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, Aunty Depressant
(434) wrote:
I have gotten better at being assertive,...but I find it harmful to me if I sometimes say something inappropriate...it can backfire.(Like at government agencies with armed guards)
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On Friday, April 20, 2007, blue
(1454) wrote:
Seemingly 'normal' feelings here, and.. here's my take: at the base of the matter is not the question of instinct or survival, but rather the taken perspective of separation or isolation
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On Friday, April 20, 2007, blue
(1454) wrote:
you would not exist if it were no things to surround you. you cannot be separated from it. As for instinct or survival: know thyself. the rest is yours alone. ha. ~b
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On Friday, April 20, 2007, blue
(1454) wrote:
*if there were. oop.
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