Have you ever wondered about thinking what exactly are you doing here? I have been totally numb for some time now ... living, but not really alive. LIving day in and day out doing what I do best being a Mother and a True Friend but I often think to myself what is out there? What am I missing? Why am I here?
I know that is alot of deep deep thoughts and thinking going on ... but do I really want to know the answers? I really don't think so or I would of found them by now.
Lately I have been speaking my mind and telling people exactly what I think ... has it hurt a few people ... yeah, has it hurt me? No. You may think it might be cruel speaking exactly what you think about the person but you know what? It feels great once you let it out.
I guess I am teetering on my emotions anger, frustration, sadness, happy, jealousy, hatred, numb ... I don't feel human, yet I have all these feelings that says I am human. When is this all going to end? Or is it? Do I want it to end? Or am I just ... I feel like I am stuck, stuck in the world by myself like its only me and me alone against everyone... against the world and I am putting up a damn good fight. But why? Is that instinct? Or is it survival?