i've come to realize that we are machines of the system and though you are screaming at me, and i'm screaming at myself words of distortion, i can't think of you as more then the bearer of bad news. prehaps it's because you loved me, in more ways then i could return. prehaps it's because you let me down, as always it's what i've come to expect from the likes of you. and though my mind is ranting, i can hardly find better things to do with it.
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY I'M SORRY , I'M SO SORRY. i'm screaming at myself, in my head along with pictures of me, lying on the ground forever falling, seemlessky bleeding, align the walls of what is known as my mind, and if i began to write down, all my thoughs from this moment ( 1:14) until 1:30, i would never get a clear thought on paper. my mind is not organized, it's not controlable, i can't take you the places it takes me, without frightening you to some extent. i am sorry you'll never understand, and i want to be alone, though i know i can't ve it's manifested it's soul into my eyes, and my hands, i see the world with a kind of trumbling fault. and they say i'm insane, but to be insane you mustn't be aware of what you are doing, but i am aware. Aware of every move, every word, every motion and moment. I'm sorry, that i feel like you will never be strong enough, mentally for me. And with all my foes and woes, i'm losing my mind again to the surrounding, which have made us machines to the system, we are scare to step on that line, ah yes the line, the line in which we won't cross out of fear of being repimanded, and deprive of some kind of motion. but because we don't crossed the line, we are being deprive of our voices, they herd us around, in these halls, so bland and bare, where creativity doesn't bloom, but enough to send my mind spinning, because one more year among these walls and halls, i could possibility go insane, and my mind deeper into, nothingness.................

and it always happens like this, i'm about to succumb, and then suddenly you aren't there. maybe i should be like them, easy, but then i wouldn't be me. Maybe i was once upon a time, worth the wait, and prehaps my insanity, sent you running, but boy, you remind me of myself, like an mirror image of my soul, just prehaps taller, and beautiful. Yes boy you are beautiful, the things you say, are the very things that run thru my mind, and it feels like an echo of another kind. like you can hear the voice in my head. and what scares me the most about you is that fact that, i trust you, literally trust you, and the fact that my walls have came down around you, and i feel no need to protect myself from you, and prehaps it has to do with, when i'm near you, my mind doesn't spin as much and my body reacts to you, in ways, no one else could make it. prehaps you are it, then again prehaps you are here for the time, the in between guy, that makes me trust again, and makes me forget my fear.