it's a lost cause

it'e like the stars are falling away from the sky, a beautiful compromise, but please don't leave me here alone

step back, i probably should say, but it's kinda nice to see you standing before me, like the sun in the early morning just as it's setting

no i'm not looking for the other half to my soul, or heart, just for the one that understands. the one that understands, what it's like to be trapped inside your own mind and though creative with words, never by choice though, i have no control over my mind sometimes, the places it goes, in a fraction of a second are amazing, though the energy that spews can quickly leave me with the presence of someone so un-willing to understand, but to not be able to think of the right words, when the time premitted............

and the sun is setting, i now know i'm waking from my 2 year nightmare, and my mind is spinning inside a corpse, dead though breathing. i think there's a new color to my heart, other then black, and warmth, where there was none. and this doesn't feel wrong, nothing about this feels wrong, though i am searching for a way out, but i shouldn't run from it......

i am falling down, my mind isn't thinking straight, and i've begun to write in riddles and creating insanity, confusing the simple minded, with the likes of a few misplaces words, but no, i don't think, anyone could understand, the journals, i've locked away inside my bedroom. IF they read them........ to the straight jacket i might go........ i probably should cry, smile or laugh, show something other then the blane outlook..... but my mind isn't doing so good, with forming sentences, that make any sense........ and i'm not making any sense....... am i

so i'm still searching for the other piece, the other part, my this soul........ the one that understands, that causes me to think of his words, when apart..... the one that writes, and spins the web with such preception and tempataion......... the one that with his hand, with his smile, and with his words, his eyes, makes everything disappear, and sets me free....... from this place....... i'm still searching....... and it's coming to be my lost cause...... cause no one will ever understand.......