can't hold this back anymore

can't seem to remember

the best times of my life

written in sandscript

a beat that never wanted to beat

a heart that never wanted to bleed

a mind that never thought of what reality life holds

choices

voices

just relax

and what THEY told me

dosen't seem to apply

or maybe i just don't comprehend

the words

they seem to slip out of the mouths of those who don't know

i don't know

i don't know how to hate

i don't know how to love

i do know .....

that what i feel dosen't seem to be quite as real as what you feel

so unsure of what i can be

so unsure of this reality

can't quite rememeber the faces that pass by

numerous

nameless

faceless

everythings a blur

time is an enemy

i can't face

but i take the time to face

my enemies?

answers to the questions

i will never find

questions to the answers

inside of my mind

what am i running from? the one question not even i have the answer to but i do know that i am afraid

so scared

and behind this wall that i sit idlely by

i am still afraid to cry

i am still afraid to die

i am still afraid of what i see

when i look into my eyes

i am still afraid that i'll have no one left after all is said and done

and i am still ashamed of all that i've become

fearless faces that i wear

timeless secrets that i dare not bare

sworn into a life that i chose to live

but for some reason

i'm not living it