Wasting Slowly and Painfully Away

I suddenly and for no reason look upward.
I instantly become aware
That I have been exisitng next to you
For so many countless years
Yet I can't recall just one.

Why do you not know me still?

We've been together, it seems,
For the better part of eternity.
Minutes, hours, days, then years go aimlessly by.
No words are spoken to the other
No personal thoughts or feelings ever shared.
I am certain that you just do not care.

Will you ever try to discover who I am inside?

It's ironic, it's quite sad, indeed,
For strangers to exist with each other,
Living parallel lives
Totally separate and apart,
Close, but completely out of reach.

I want to know you,
I need you to know me.
This one who's sharing your life, your bed.
Why do you not love me?

Do you not see these tears that I silently shed?

My heart becomes heavy and weary
As I sit here and realize
Our lives, pages in history, soon will they fade into.
We will depart this earth,
Not ever knowing love, not feeling loved,
Never cared for,
Wasting away this gift of our existence,
The one we were meant to cherish and share.

God, I am so sorry.
Your blessings, without tenderness and gladness,
Given of freely,
Not thankfully appreciated for.
We do not deserve this life-
Of this I am totally aware.

From out of a darkness we've continued on with so well,
As silently as I have occupied this life,
I draw my pistol, aiming straight for your head,
I kill you in cold blood, now you are dead in your chair.
Turning it upon myself now,
I end this empty existence,
My feelings of total despair.