I Was Only Ever Strangled By the Rest of Them

(This is a work in progress!!)

The bubbles raced over my burning skin,
and instead of feeling choked,
I was soothed, as you slid
into my corner – I felt your weight on me,
a comfort instead of a cage –

And I breathed.
And you held my face, and my heart
was beating and unstoppable
when you whispered
in my ear that I’m beautiful.

The stars collapsed
and sank into the jacuzzi water.

I watched them scatter,
painted over dancing bubbles.
I couldn’t believe the ferocity
of my own oxygen,
and how soft your skin felt
under my wet fingers.

I delighted in the warm burn
of the stubble on your cheeks
while you quietly kissed my neck
and held onto my hair
the way I was desperately holding onto you.

You held me, and I held myself there
in fear of letting go
if I had to find I might never stop choking
if it’s not with you.