BreakDown (06/14/05)

In the woods,
I stand dead,
Descending,
It never ends.

Feel my mouth move,
But no words come out,
Feel my hair on my face,
Black with brown roots.

Hear him in my head,
Telling me I'm something,
But where is he now?
And who knows he's not just fucking me over?

I need some sleep,
Some tired mind so sweet,
Come kill the divine,
Try your best, Come get me.

Here I sit in front of the world,
I don't want this anymore,
So sleep, Darling, sleep,
Don't end it Here, Don't end it Now.

Bulging eyes staring down at me,
Don't want to deal with this,
Too Overwhelming,
Don't know what I want.

Body's going weak,
Arm's too dead to write neat,
Progress gets slower and slower,
Why can't I be happy?

Someone gave me such a great Angel,
But I can't tell if he is from Heaven or Hell,
I want him so bad, so perfect,
Please tell me now.

I know he's meant to hurt me,
He can find someone else who is a lot better,
Why is he with me?
I just wish he would tell me and get it over with.

Smell the ashtray, smell the shit you smoke,
Breathe in - maybe your heart will stop,
(We can only wish)
Please, ****, tell me something that I can believe,
I love you so much but it seems like it doesn't phase you a bit,
(Probably because it doesn't)

Scrummage through the junk drawer,
I hope to find the weapon of choice,
Picture perfect - Blood spilling to the floor,
Living life to the fullest in your last minutes.

I can honestly say I used to have faith,
Faith for whatever reason,
Just to feel safe,
Safe from all the darkness that eats you up inside,
Now I can't even see how people believe in anything.

My mind is closed,
Closed so it won't get hurt as much,
But fuck it,
What the Hell do I have to live for?

Water's warm - It's been sitting there for awhile,
Doused in supreme depression,
So still - I wish I were like it,
Question is "Is the glass half full or half empty"?
(Where is your Mind?)