Disorders Inside A Vile

I keep my disorders close
Locked inside a vile, hanging round my neck
Bones are covered, scars barely show
Disorders lay dormant til I least expect

My body is a volcano in a sense
A putrid hate boiled over to vengence
My life is devoted to mutilation
I take pride in hollow, stinging sensations

Don’t get comfortable with my healthy state
The blade is still alive and well
You say anorexia was just a phase
But Ana is calling me back to hell

I agree it’s a mechanism of defense
I understand the theories of control
On paper it all makes sense
But I can’t silence the screams of my soul

It mourns the death of pain self inflicted
It attempts to muster up enough rage
From a mutilating drama queen convicted
Once too far gone to save

Engulfed by those demons locked in that vile
Her screams for release soon will shatter its glass
Like a moth to a flame, I cling to that lifestyle
I surrender to the devils of my past