Disorders Inside A Vile

By Empathy

I keep my disorders close
Locked inside a vile, hanging round my neck
Bones are covered, scars barely show
Disorders lay dormant til I least expect

My body is a volcano in a sense
A putrid hate boiled over to vengence
My life is devoted to mutilation
I take pride in hollow, stinging sensations

Don’t get comfortable with my healthy state
The blade is still alive and well
You say anorexia was just a phase
But Ana is calling me back to hell

I agree it’s a mechanism of defense
I understand the theories of control
On paper it all makes sense
But I can’t silence the screams of my soul

It mourns the death of pain self inflicted
It attempts to muster up enough rage
From a mutilating drama queen convicted
Once too far gone to save

Engulfed by those demons locked in that vile
Her screams for release soon will shatter its glass
Like a moth to a flame, I cling to that lifestyle
I surrender to the devils of my past

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 Empathy
Published on Saturday, August 6, 2005.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Disorders Inside A Vile"

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  • A former member wrote: This is amazing, this is very similar to my situation, I put the blade to rest then Ana grabs hold of me again, or vice versa, and the sad part is you get used to it....

  • ApathysKiss On Saturday, August 6, 2005, ApathysKiss (377)By person wrote:

    this was a well structured internal conflict and you've conveyed this with such powerful words. refreshing read from the usual free verse here. ~much respect ~M~

  • peril_notion On Saturday, August 6, 2005, peril_notion (87)By person wrote:

    Crazy enough, I find this terrifyingly and beautifully enchanting. Wonderful. Heather

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