This single thought builds at the back of my mind:
I am betrayed, I have been lied to.
It doesn't really matter of course, because I think
I understand
her logic behind lying to me.
Its almost cute, in a way, what her reasons were,
what they must have been.
The lie was unimportant, a little thing,
which,
if personified,
would probably be small, and cute, with curly hair.
So I can't see why this makes me worried.
Of course, she doesn't know that I know,
because I know how stupid it would be to point it out,
but this lack of talk leads to doubts in my mind
about her intent, which I want to think I understand.
Intellectually, I can see
it is only
One
Stupid
Insignificant
Meaningless
Lie.
I know I have told worse, for worse reasons,
but I can't escape that gnawing feeling of betrayal.
Even though I know I am not betrayed.
So I dwell on it, more and more
and this cute little lie, with the curly hair
becomes a symbol, just as she has:
something mysterious, ferocious,
it comes from behind, may intend me harm or detest me.
But I don't know.