Things I wish you knew

It kills me that I can't tell you how I feel
I see the pain and hurt you try to conceal
But can't you see my pain?
Why don't you take a trip down memory lane
I was always there always with you
How I wish that you only knew
But you always had her
even though she didn't really love you
Now I have you but you're not all mine
I wish I could say it was just a matter of time
But we can never be together unless I speak up
I love you and I hate you
You break me but you fix me
We tried to avoid drama but ther is can't you see?
Why can't I talk to you why does this have to be?
What is it that holds me back?
Am I afraid you won't feel the same
Or that you'll think I'm just playing highschool games?
The girl before me broke your trust and ripped your heart
What you don't know is,
What she has done is tearing me apart
Because now you don't trust you only have lust
You said it yourself, you're only ice
But now I'm stuck paying her price
I don't get attached, and I'm never exclusive
I was fine beore but now the secrets are a nuisence
We're only together when we're alone
But all of this I have always known
I see now I was living in denial
Always covering it up with a care-free smile
But now it's become so real I can't escape
This is the part I really hate
I have to admit my defeat
I wish that you could read my mind just to see
But for now it remains between I and Me