Consequences

This pain,
I can't feel.
No longer,
Is it real.
I hate,
My heart.
It rips,
Me apart.
I long,
To die.
But I don't,
Know why.
I've hurt too many people,
Caused them all such pain.
Now I just wanna leave,
So I can never do it again.
They don't deserve the pain,
That I put them through.
They don't even know,
Whats false or whats true.
They don't deserve the feelings,
Given by me unintentionally.
They don't deserve to know,
What pain that they've caused me.
They need to know the truth,
I long just to tell.
But what happens when I do,
I'll be put through constant hell.