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Save Me
By TwistedInnocence
*side note: This is one of my first poems, I wrote it when I was quite
upset. I hope it isn't to corny or lame :). I would love to hear any comments
you have!*
"Save Me"
Please,
Save me.
I feel so trapped,
about ready to snap,
power, anger, frustration and chaos,
is swirling in my mind,
in my silent whispers,
consumed by
violent thoughts,
slowly rotting inside,
need to get out,
Back off,
I can't breathe,
don't you dare look at me,
hatred brimming in my vivid green gaze,
I'm screaming,
do you even hear me?
Can't you see I'm going insane?
Wish you'd just listen,
before I resort to other things,
I'm slowly slinking back,
to dark, dreary and deadly,
me.
Please,
Save me...
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
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Copyright 2005 TwistedInnocence
Published on Wednesday, March 23, 2005.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Comments on "Save Me"
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On Monday, May 9, 2005, Kinkypoptart
(555)
wrote:
I'll give you better than darkdesires did. Ha, i'll give you an A. *sticks tongue out at Corey* Great write. I really enjoyed it. ~*~Tart~*~
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, TwistedInnocence
(4) wrote:
Thank you for the comments and the welcomes! :) And the B+ from darkdesires whom I've started to admire.
-
On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, Forgotten Angel
(310) wrote:
i agree w/ every1 below me..and i've had this feeling, probably not as strong..i hope somebody saved you..and i love it, n welcome 2 DP! -Kel
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, happilydepressed
(409) wrote:
cool beans and welcome to D.P.
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, Liz
(267) wrote:
Yeah, I really like this too. Especially for a first post, you're a lot better than many. I liked the subtle rhyming you used without getting wrapped up in rhyming everything, and the way you used descriptions without too many words.
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, darkdesires
(139) wrote:
I await to read more of you work. I used to write like this and I think that you tried to start cool and collect with slect words, but then just let them overflow. I give it a B+ lol
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, Northstar
(375) wrote:
i think you express something here that all of us have felt at some point---I know I have felt this--nice job
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, Silent Assassin
(108) wrote:
That feeling I know all too well. You expresed it quite well. -Dan
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On Wednesday, March 23, 2005, elisa
(1616) wrote:
I applaud the fact that you vent your frustration through writing......constructive and honest.....Life is poetry, we're all living literature~elisa
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