Confused by Heart

Hannah Rose Harmon - That's not me,
Something deep, something unclean,
Something so hidden inside my mind,
Time to unravel - Time to unwind.

Desperation is calling me,
It has seen me become weak,
"Open up Hannah, it's time to be free"
But how can life last without time being seen?

I wouldn't watch my days go by,
I would follow the night,
I would sink into these vague, creeping memories,
And then suddenly slice them away out of life.

Falling down from the grasp of all sounds,
Listen to these dreams so hurtful,
But no one's around,
How can I stay when I am so alone inside my heart?

Feeling these intense moments,
What's happening to me?
Why am I messed up?
Why do I want to leave?

He's there and he's waiting,
Well, at least that's what I think,
Tell me I am dreaming,
That way I don't hurt when I fall into this hating thing.

Listen from the outside,
I seek nothing but distorted behavior,
Looking at everyone so happy,
So lost that it's tainted.

Tell me I'm not here,
And to tell me this love is a LIE!
Tell me I am hoping for something meaningful,
But then I am hoping and waiting to die?!?!

What's wrong with my head?
I can't seek - I am only fed bullshit,
You tell me to fall and I ask "How hard do you want me to break?"
You scream out the answer "Please Just Go Away!"

So I see this great downfall,
Waiting for its edges to scrap my insides,
So I'll lay down on my bed,
And live my tainted life of lies!