My Morning After

It's like a plague
Rage and it's self destruction
It's been buried deep inside
Waiting to erupt

I can't control my emotions
I can't tell you how hard I try
To wake up to a new mentality
To another train of thought

I can wake up clear minded
And in those few seconds
It's not so hazy
I am able to breathe
But optimism is just a fog
That hovers over my reality

I sit and smoke
Letting the sickness erode my body
The depression is enough to cripple me
I let it ruin me

It's destruction has left a mark
I hate the many that can't be hid
It's left my arms nicked and scarred
It's ate the skin off my bones

I gave into this way of life
I can't say that I had a choice
I never imagined the consequence
A life of fleeing from myself
Convinced that I'm the enemy
Knowing that it's my fault

The last thing I want is to change
'Cause this life is all I've known
A healthy mind isn't in store
But that's something I'm not so sure
I'd want

I know I'll never be content
No matter what blessing may come
Loneliness is all I can have
I refuse to let them see me
So that they can mock me
And shit out their shallow theories