Essence of Life

its one am and im still up
couldnt sleep
the apartments quiet and the cat
is dead to the world
at my feet
her tiny breaths the only sound to be heard
its now
sitting here in a faded
blue armchair
that all the thoughts
the tension
the anxiety
comes together
things are so good right now
not perfect of course
lifes a work in progress
i have a job that pays my bills
i have some close friends
i couldnt live without
ive got a kitten
shes my darling
even when she wakes me up
at six am
and id do anything to protect her
but most of all
ive been lucky enough
to be with the guy
that makes me so incredibly happy
with him
im whole
my thoughts touch often
to the question of if
hell ask me to be
the one
to live forever with
to raise a son or daughter
with love we both share
i sleep deep at night
knowing hes there beside me
as i stroke his arm
lightly enough
that he doesnt stir
he makes me laugh
and smile
and feel like i can do anything
i want to
and thats what scares me
i feel like its so good
so right
that something will happen
to take it away
id lose a part of my soul
my being
my essence
if that was destroyed
everyday i realize all the things
i have to be thankful for
and i dont take it for granted
fate has given me a life
with its ups and downs
and i wouldnt have it any other way
ive put too much of myself
into this