love and despair

in the fetul position i lay and cry
blood trickles down from fresh cuts
its all too familiar
only the pain fights love this time
these tears arent as much sorrow as they are guilt
im so happy yet so very sorrow filled
despair will never leave my side
will he leave me once he meets this unwanted mistress
only time will tell
fear of being hurt occurs in the back of my mind
in th front, my love
love. whut is it
it is many things of which i have
and some i dont
the distance between us is killing me inside
i long to be held, to kiss his lips
to whisper i love you's in his ear
i dream that someday soon
my knight in shing armour will carry me away
free me from sin and sorrow
to live our fairy tale ending
but like a rose i wilt as the days pass
my heart belongs to him
my love for him burns like an eternal flame
unable to die
though i am doubted by the people closest to me
i know this love is true
as i wipe away these tears and the blood ceases to fall
i call upon my love
yet he is so far away...