The Overdose (Journey to Hell) revised
By GirlintheBox
Dark and lonely in this world by myself.
How long will I last? I'm unable to tell.
My life is a journey I must travel alone.
With no one to help me until I am done.
Tired and crying I lie down to rest.
For soon in the future lies my ultimate test.
I soon slip away into peaceful slumber
And hear fading out deep rumbles of thunder.
I've slowly traveled into a world of dreams
Where the sun is shining and birds gladly sing.
I stand in a garden of flowers in bloom,
Where chirping of crickets steal my feelings of doom.
A thin shred of hope lies deep in my heart
That I might have been given a new place to start.
Maybe my journey has come to an end
Then I'll be happier than I've ever been.
For some time I wonder if this could be true,
That I could be one of the chosen few
Allowed to live eternity in Paradise,
The days unimportantly drifting by.
And I will be judged as having no faults.
But these pleasant feelings soon come to a halt.
For directly behind me I hear a noise.
I turn, and there stands a lion poised.
He stares me down with eyes full of greed.
He's spotted his meal and is ready to feed.
I stand there frozen, paralyzed by fear.
Believing the time of my death has drawn near.
Although unhappy, I don't wish to die,
As I thought before, for now I realize
That all I've wanted is to be given a chance
To be thought as a friend, showered with romance.
But all that now matters is getting away
So I might live out the rest of my days.
The lion is crouching and ready to spring,
And I know now this isn't a dream.
All this is real and I must escape,
For he is the hunter, and I am his prey.
My muscles, though shaky, are no longer still.
Filled with new vengeance, I no longer feel.
The lion jumps, I roll to the side
So beginning the battle to save my life.
At first I can dodge him, but soon I grow weary.
I'm desperate to live to see those I love dearly.
This gives me strength to last a bit longer.
But this soon runs out, for the lion is stronger.
And so he consumes me, all light growing dim.
For staying alive is a game I can't win.
Whatever I desire, I'm unable to keep.
All that I've sown, I'm unable to reap.
As my last bit of life ends, I shed a tear.
I've searched for happiness, it came so near.
But in the end I failed the ultimate test,
So now I shall lie in eternal rest.
Comments on "The Overdose (Journey to Hell) revised"
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A former member wrote:
It was so smooth and you made it so easy to imagine what you were writing. The lion idea was great, and I definitely didn't see it coming!
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A former member wrote:
Stick to your guns, Krystal! Be like Lara Croft. Look for the whites of their eyes :-) ~Shane~
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On Thursday, August 5, 2004, K_Love
(525) wrote:
The flow and the words went together as if it was meant to be. Beautiful write, I feel as if you've written a story instead of a poem. I enjoyed this great write! ~Kirsten~
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On Thursday, August 5, 2004, Blood of Winter
(296) wrote:
Do not fret young one, life is easier to change after 18...trust me I remember the same feelings when I was your age...another wonderful write...
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On Thursday, August 5, 2004, Anth
(1126) wrote:
i enjoyed this, it seemed fresh in a way,i liked the imagery and the idea of the lion, impressive
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On Thursday, August 5, 2004, Whisper
(112) wrote:
I'm in awe. this is a powerful write. -BT-
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On Thursday, August 5, 2004, AHHH
(184) wrote:
very powerful...I like the lion idea...great write- michelle
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A former member wrote:
this is a great piece. the rhyme and and the flow of this was perfect. Awesome imagery. good job ~serpentine~