Staring into the scars on my arms,
I'm feeling sorry for myself, wishing I had something to be happy for
My coffee cup keeps me warm
But the cup is half empty, and then I am alone
Wearing my nicest clothes, I'm ready to go
But where and with whom?
The rosery around my neck reminds me of when I lost my faith
(I can barely believe I ever had faith)
Black eye makeup running down my face
Why do I even bother trying to look good
No one see's me, I'm ignored
I long for a forgotten sight of blood dripping down my arm
I'm overwhelmed just from the thought
But the more I cut, the more they see inside of me
I have to hide the true me, the broken hearted child they thought they knew
This smile doesn't seem too fake anymore
I think I'm used to pretending now
Being happy isn't too bad when your playing out a dream
The coffee is warming my cold blood
-I feel real
Before I finish my coffee, and this poem I'll put on my fake smile
Pretend the pain is gone, as if it died when they wouldn't let me
Deep breath to calm my nerves
here I go to the land of make believe...