to live & die in a.a.

lonely hirsute woman
sitting at her desk
fragile fingers poking keys
ink printed on paper
red eyes & nicotine stained teeth
smell of smoke in all her hair
stench of liquid & roses
a bouquet of vodka & sweets
typing
click clack!
clackety click!
bandage on her forearm
soaked all the way through with blood
sniffing mucous back up her nose
downing a pill or two
percoset & vicodin
gulps down coffee with a shot
of the bouquet vodka
type type-ity!
type-ity type!
lamenting, frustrating
prophesying
things to come
a few more pecking stabs
at the keys
and she’ll be done
the words & voice
of a former lover
run looped
& loopy in her skull
“say goodbye, ‘cuz i’m leavin’,
i can’t stand you anymore.”
that woman used to love her
and she still loves her back
typing out an apology
and “i’m sorry”
an “i’ll never have you back”
with a type type-ity!
clickity clack!

pausing, breathing, exhaling
looking out the window
a pigeon shitting on her railing
“time to take a dive,” she says
clack clickity!
pulls the paper from the carriage
rolls it tight & sighs
downs the last of the vodka
shoves the letter down
the bottle’s neck
opens the window
tosses the bottle
into the breeze
dives off of the railing
and races it to the ground

the pigeon (done shitting)
flies into the apartment
& lands on the typewriter
pecks & pecks & pecks at the keys

“...the end.”