Diary

Dear diary,
I want to share my secrets
you're the only one I know
that I know will keep them
I've had some really rough years
and it seems like it will never end
there's no one else around to tell
I can't even keep a friend
It's always one thing after another
no matter what I do
there's no one else I can tell
I can only trust you
where do I start, where do I begin
how can I even explain
In my life I hold so much heartbreak
and even worst so much pain
bad things are happening so fast
I don't even have time to cry
and to punish me worse, as if I am cursed
time goes slow instead of passing by
family problems, relationships,
financial cituations and yes friends
bad luck, sudden deaths
trouble with the law, where does it end
but let me elucidate a little more
why my feelings are this way
the sorrow and the pain I feel
that haunts me everyday
my best friend was only 17
she committed suicide
my family has all left me
and my dreams have all died
my mom speaks to me
as if she don't care
my dad, who really knows
he wasn't ever there
and my boyfriend he was sweet
but nothing like me
we were total opposites
and so I let him be
I struggled all my life
surviving is the key
I don't depend on no one
I can only trust me
and nobody understands
what goes on inside of me
my thoughts and my concerns
my outlook on reality
and being in the world alone
is the one thing I do fear
but the only people around me
seem to only bring me tears
and so I sit here in my corner
in this hell, which I call life
and write down my thoughts on paper
to escape from my vein being under the knife