I'd be playing this season
Not as the crying Christ
But as the jolly St. Nick
who bring in the surprises!

I'd make a long list
Not of innocent, nice ones
But of naughty ones I knew
And I wouldn't check it twice!

Hey, you countryside spinsters!
I was your gossip topic after church!
I'd gladly stuff your mouths
with needles and pricks and thorns!

Hey, you sorority sluts!
You've wanted to ruin my college life!
I'd gladly stuff your tight asses
with the finest, hardest paddle!

Hey, you drunkard sleazebags!
You've made my reputation your beer match!
I'd gladly stuff your intestines
with a case of broken beer bottles!

Hey, you miseducated teachers!
You've belittled my true nature!
I'd gladly stuff your throats
with a box of the hardest chalks!

Hey, you perverted men!
You've infused me to your sick fantasies!
I'd gladly stuff your skulls
with termite-infested pages of a porno mag!

I now end this poem here
for my list runs too long
Too much abuse leads to hatred
and this is how I feel this Christmas...