Is it.. Her?

Ever so, I'm done for sure
I'm done being spurred.
I can't emotionally walk away
Because I'll just never be okay..
Once upon a time, I'd smile
But, its been a long while.
I refuse to recall My grins
Now I live with My sins.
My crooked smile is gone
I was just a simple pawn.
This familiar, loving caress
Can it be? My first guess?
It's.. Her, under the Waning Crescent
I can see Her, and it's her pure scent.
In a dead meadow, on this night
I forgot, she is such a sight..
This is too good to be true
She's not in black, but blue?
Strange.. Please, have I died
Stared and barely smiled.
She sings in the same pitch
Along with the living nitche.
Where She is, the meadow lives
I approach, "Excuse Me, Ms.?"
She turns.. I see the wound
I knew it.. It isn't true..
I awake, sobbing with a plea
"Please.. Just fucking end Me.."
Nothing helps Me and no one stays
I'm regularly wide awake for days..
To avoid glimpses of Her
I thought I was so sure.
My mind has taken some blows
But I was so, so very close..
To see Her alive soon
You're a permanent rune.
I thought I'd stop torturing Me,
Blunt ignorance.. As you see.
I'll actually see Her one day
And I know what I'll say.
To finally revive our real love
But, you were the freed Dove..