"Strange Days And Paracetamol"

a short story

Every morning seems too similar. One moment I look towards the window and it's still there. The same old plant pot with the wilting herbs. The sounds of water dripping from a leaky faucet.  An old Smucker's jar used as a keep for spare change. It seems that I'm the only person to notice these things. I complain about them. I really do. But there's nothing I could do about it. The urge is too great. I sometimes wished I could have kept the change, as I have no money, but Mom won't let me; I could have called the plumber and done something about it, but my parent's rules tell me I shouldn't pick up the phone on any reason. I water the plants on several occasions, but it's dead. 

     Every night, however, is a different story. 

     When I was writing a composition on genomes last Tuesday, something struck me that something strange, something off, is taking place. My intuition leads me to the kitchen, again, when I saw a dead snake that was choking on paracetamol. By the time I had arrived, the foam had dried. My guess is the snake must have sneaked its way from the bathroom window. The window there is always open. Not fully open, but large enough for an eagle to perch in the windowsill. I don't even know if that makes any sense. 

     Then, a day later, I lost my copy of "The Dark Knight Returns" by Frank Miller. I was going to finish it tomorrow, but I was busy with tons of club meetings. I was frustrated. I could cope up with the deadlines often, because, I wanted it to be finished as fast as possible. But now I don't feel like working. Right now, I'm sitting on a couch while watching a Netflix original. I won't give away the title. It's a story about a corrupt and manipulative congressman. That's all. That's all I do when I feel extremely lazy. My laziness is so evident in my life that I actually place them in different levels. I'm on the lazy A.F. level. With an environment like this, I hate to be lazy.

     In times like these I sometimes think I'm Holden Caulfield.

     The next night, when I sat on the couch, I heard a dripping noise behind the dining table. My pseudo-Holmesian deduction skills tells me it's just rain water, but it hasn't rained all month. 

     Then, on Friday, when I was walking to the gym, I got into a fight with a street thug. He had a switchblade and started threatening me - he told me that I had not paid my debts. So I tried to reason with that jerkface, diplomatically.

     "Where's my money, jerk? Tryna cheat me outta my 8-grand? Huh?"

     "What the f***! I didn't borrow any money from you, get off me!" 

     "Shut up! Give me my money!" 

     I thought that this was the best opportunity for me to demonstrate a basic Krav Maga disarming technique. He lunged forward, bringing the knife point blank to my chest, somewhat like fencing. Impulsiveness signals me to break his right arm. But when I was in the course of doing so, however, he cried out like a baby. I quickly ran as far as possible and went home. 

     I felt proud. But I felt sorry for the thug.

     A few minutes later, I came back. The thug was gone. What a relief.

     Yesterday, I went cycling. Everything seems to be fine at the moment. Until this message came:

                                                Nome DePloom
                                                    Messenger

                                               MAY 26, 8:39 PM

     "Yo fam did ya get my dope??? Answer plsss"

     My response was quick, easy and highly rational:

                                                                             "F*** off, man."
                                                                              Sent
     He seemed quite solemn at his response:

     "Yo fam"

     But what he said next scared the hell out of me.

     "U broke my muthaf***in arm, fam!!! Dont make me f*** with u!!"

     Holy s***, he's after me.

     I didn't call the police. I ran like a mad cheetah being chased by another mad cheetah. When I reached home, I went to my bedroom and reached for my iPhone. I switched to an auxiliary account I've been keeping for quite a long time ago. I fell fast asleep. Man, I thought I couldn't get enough sleep after what had happened lately. I really look forward for a whole day without anything bad happening. I really do.