I’m dying inside and I just want to let go,
But all these people tell me no.
It’s my life and I’ll do what I please,
Like I’m under a king with my diocese.
How long until I finally cut through,
Instead of grazing the vein, I bid you adieu.
I have given up entirely this time,
I refuse to repeat the entire climb.
Everyday seems to be the same,
Hate and pain is what I became.
Almost like I am not in my own body core,
Maybe I’ll just sit back and have some liquor.
The hangman’s knot seems so inviting,
There’s no point to keep on fighting.
I yearn for the sweet, red drink in my veins,
All I seem to do is deal with these pains.
Cut the pain out of my wrist and chest,
I promise I have been trying my best.
All the years of self-harm and hate,
You were a tantalizing and mysterious bait.
I could not let you get simply walk away,
I tried to keep the darkness at bay.
I am done trying to stay happy now,
To my blades and urges I will bow.
One...five...ten, no more self-control,
I listen to the birds fade, how droll.
The most deathly situations seem calm,
Slowly deteriorating like a Greek column.
We can’t all live the life we want,
Life takes our happiness as a taunt.
Death seems to reunite us with loved ones,
Grandparents, Mothers, Fathers, sisters, and sons.
It is hard to live on, so you have the decisions,
Take up the noose and smile, or aim with precision.
Pain is fun, but they always said too much fun can hurt,
They say love is so wonderful, I always end up in the dirt.
“Love” has brought me nothing but memories of sorrow,
I hope I do not live to see the light of tomorrow.
I’d rather die in the light on this night and be relieved,
I have known I would die, it was the first thing I perceived.
They say I’m okay, I’m strong, I can do it.
But I don’t want to have this hurt, it’s bull shit.
I love the pain, they say love hurts. Is love pain?
If it is, I am happy to be in love and insane.
Without love how would we know hate,
And without hate, how would we know love?