Fire and Ice

I am stuck
in between lost
and found.
Pain and
peace.

No one can save me now.
I am not in hell,
but I am so far from heaven.

I’ve cried an ocean of tears,
yet no one is drowning
but me.

My fears are overwhelming
and consuming.
I can’t hold the walls up around me anymore.

The walls cave in.
I am breathing in
and out.

The oxygen is limited
and I realize
it is my time.

There is comfort and chaos in that thought.
Fear and relief consume me,
the oxymoron shocking
.
I am done carrying the weight of the world,
finally.
I just hope it doesn’t push me to hell.

I become fire and ice
living alongside one another.

I question myself,
how can fire exist in a world of ice?

The answers have never been clear.
Yet this is a pressing question
and I only have minutes left.

I’m drowning in carbon dioxide,
seconds left.

Too many things fly through my mind
at the speed of light.
Yet all I know is his brown eyes.