Reality is Painful

It's like radiation in my brain, mutating everything inside
Every ounce of hope destroyed when I finally opened my eyes
There is nothing right about this, no answer to any prayers
I choke down all the heartache that has me buckling in despair
You're oblivious of my kindness, ignorant of any offered help
Nothing seems to make a difference in your constant pity of yourself
I'm so tired of all our fighting, I hold the white flag of defeat
But what good is giving in when you are too fucking blind to see?
You say I'm a heartless woman and I laugh bitterly at the joke
I tried so long to keep it going, so hard to stay afloat
Who else could do it better, would anyone ever even try?
I've run out of all my excuses when someone asks me "why?"
I just keep moving forward like I have no other choice
The sorrow in my soul translates to anger in my voice
The end is coming fast and I'm helpless in a sense
You'll never rise above and get yourself out of this mess 
I can't say I didn't see it coming, it was pretty obvious in a way
A person can only handle so much aimless misery and heartache
Everything I tried to build in the last two years is worthless now
Nothing left to do but watch it all come crumbling down​