Tell me it's not the finale...

To my Jenna , 
just a few more thoughts, I know we said these things over and over...
I wish I met you earlier in life but I felt like we were together forever. My BFF our favorite sweatpants, splitting a pizza on Tuesdays, our loooong talks. The haunted attic we lived in. I never met a person so cold and loving at the same time. You are the sister I never had, you are every afternoon nap I take , and every time i
 laugh out loud, it's our inside jokes...we don't even need words, you helped me through Matt's death, Jill helped me through yours. Matt sent me a new love in my beloved Matt to help me through both of your deaths , and the threat of losing my own life.  Maybe I will never find a friend like you, and maybe the old me is no longer, and maybe I have held on to you for far too long ...but to that I say no. I have a crew of angels watching over me. What's wrong with that?
When I lay down at night to pray for my health and my loved ones, I know you among others can hear me. All I ask is for my angels

by my side reassuring me it will be ok. Death is not a finale, but just the beginning of something I can't possibly comprehend . I will see you and the others on the other side of that cloud. Make me understand I do not have to be afraid , put your arms around me when I'm done with this life, I will see you on the other side. Like I said the last time we spoke....I love you and good night.
p.s. I wish you came and slept on my couch that night....


Me