A Monster's Suicide

Another cut, to distract the pain,
Another pill, just to keep sane. 
Alive but dead in a tormenting hell,
Knowing, you'll never fully get well.
 
Scaring away the few that stood by,
I scream to the heavens and ask God "why"?
 
Finally, someone sees I'm a monster,
They see the scars and the reasons they’ve conquered.
 
What they don't see is the pain that is hidden,
Deep within my heart it is written.
 
Living is now my hardest task,
Loneliness and depression carefully masked.
 
What they don't know from the nights I hate most,
In my top drawer, a crumpled suicide note.
 
Yes, it is true, I tried again to get out.
But I can't let them suffer for my cowardice and doubt.
 
So let the days keep trudging on, sooner or later, I'll sing death's song.