Better Than A Veteran

Narcessistic
Heart untwisted
The stars and stripes started ripe until we scarred and stripped them
Every playback has me hittin paws as if I sparred with kittens
If my genetic sequence was scripted, I don't like the way it's written
My multi schemes are surgical, every verse an incision
Judgments been cast down on me, I've reversed the decision
Hardship is a given, a conscience a curse of the livin
In search of forgiveness through proverbial churches and prisons
Lurching toward lechery, wretches perched in screaming perdition
Smoking an iota of Iowa; a field of dreams and visions
The smoking mirror screen screaming, ever clear ingrained in my stitching
Fear restrained and restricted, I've been conditioned for conviction
Force-fed religion, demons diluting diction, teams scheming reams of pressure cleaned fiction
A soldier in God's army til I was found in dereliction
And expelled from the body like a night of bad decisions
And though I've moved past the pain, rejection is quite the affliction
I tried finding the humor in the situation but laughter was the wrong prescription
If I could find the funding, I'd rewind my tummy, relive every mistake until I find it funny
You think 's impossible? Don't remind me buddy!
My bankroll is Waldo, I can't find it money.
Goons grabbin with sticky fingers like their pockets lined with honey, I'm lapping circles round these Urkle's till my theigh sweat running
 Grounded by a shield peeled from the bark of my family writer team
 I'm bound for paramount ability, seeping seas breeding tides of soliloquy
I wield accountability diligently and keep integrity inside of me
And when I die I hope they write the book about the person that I tried to be
Perverting curses with my methods, Inverting verses the profession
Inserting worth, when I burst, I birth a better version of a veteran
Recurrent in obsession, the verdant valley freshened
The hurdle of oppression on the current of a tempest
Fills the well of courage churning in the belly of a legend
The nerd's disturbed, his words curb urges to cross the verge of civility
A burden, burned-in dirges converge with my ability
A malady merges in the slow lane with tranquility
My style a fatality that validates virility
Neutrality's not balancing the valence, that's invalidity
A chase the chalice with silence, convictions slipping toward senility
I've suspected Mrs. Media of slipping poison in my drink, I'm on to her
I'll keep the tempo tapping quickly like the keys of a stenographer
Suspend the value of a union, never the bargaining unit
Spark the moon’s flint, keep the fuse lit,
harness and use it til these tarnished abused lips of mine are useless
Eclipsed in time, my mind grinds gears til I fine tune it
I revere the silent union of rhyme and music
Muses minds induced, too much rind to juice
Too much grind to refine to a limestone truth
Originally rigid in my writing regimen
Expectations opaque, breaking sentence into sediment
Verse rehearsed, rehashed, rebirthed, eraser marks and sweat
Spawned a journal unearthed from sub-dermal sect.
Drained of color, Make-up cover smears my pastel pallor
Stained, unstable, standing tall in a shambled shade of valor
Once free to have the type of face that others could adore
My synaptic gap made captive, now I've left some on the floor
I cannot play the prisoner, I've risen in position
My soul conducts the symphony, my body conducts friction