Strip Club Glamour

With the Strobe lights and heels 
I dry my tears and try to feel
But I cant, been numb so long
I try to be good, don't know whats wrong

Put on my make up, eyeliner mascara
Strut down to the next man "Hi my name's...uh Sarah"
Thats not really my name
but he dont know
I could be anybody 
Im a liar, I'm so low

Who could love me, Im just a doll
for them to attach their strings
I die inside, but ive been dead 
to the "Man kings"

I'm bad inside thats why
I want more, but its life
In school trying to make it
but inside, I feel like I fake it

Every day to try to be
but emptiness is really me
Nobody sees or thinks it real
Maybe this once, I'lll be allowed to feel

He left me, cuz he said I had too many issues
 I said if only you could see my bruises
He left me cuz I didn't give him his desires
Just like all the other men 
who couldnt sustain
giving me pain
they were all promisers who turned into liars

Molested, dirty , damaged goods
Smile I do as I wear my lingerie for strangers
Dreaming of a new life, more money new dangers

I feel like a ho, because of what they told me
I feel like im dirty, but it dont show you see
through my make up
my smile, my little smirk....my plea

To death please kill me now
But no, I sit with you..champagne ..how
how can I keep doing this
but I need the money to get out
Need to make a life but will I?
I'm filled with ,, so much doubt

I cater to men, 
cater to their sin
To bind me to their wants their needs
While I click down the hall in heels
to high for a little girl that never grew up
You said you loved me but wouldn't give up
your worship to yourself 
so you left me
alone to fend for myself. 


This is to my Dad, Stepdad, Ex Boyfriend...and all the men in my life who were supposed to make me feel like a woman, but instead shattered me and left me torn in pieces

(Art work I drew for this poem featured here--> http://indictedpieces.deviantart.com/art/Strip-Club-Glamour-376359241)