And then there was none

Sickly pale face inhales the toxic fumes of a long born habit,
Aches and pains, swelling and discoloration ail this body to the vastest degree.

A child sits behind grey/green eyes and screams with fear,
Another soul is reaching out towards the angels of ailments as they once again descend.

.............................................................................................................................................

I cannot bare this, I cannot watch.
Once was enough
I know you cannot stay forever, but just a few more moments,
A few more lifetimes...
I hate you because I love you so much,
I will never understand this.

You need to be reconnected, but this is oh so wrong!
I need you, I don't speak it, but I need you.
Invisible tears stream my cheeks every time I look in your direction.
I know I am hard, I know I am cold outside.
But surely you of all people, the only one like you, knows my inner needs.

Yes I will carry on when this is over, you know this as well as I,
And yes smiles and laughter will pass these lips after,
But there will always be something missing, a part that cannot be filled.
I would speak this aloud if I knew it would change you,
But I know you better than you know me and I can see it won't change.

Words lead to hope, hope leads to disappointment, disappointment leads to anger...
I won't be angry with you, I shall not speak.

Nearly 5 years have passed since the last time,
That child is still screaming...
Don't make this go on, don't let go.
I will hold your hand.