what has happened to my life?

“Please stop the car driver! Right here is fine!”

I run to your closed yet open door.

“Can you help me now?” I plead

As I fall to your wooden porch floor.

Nothing makes sense to me now.

My cries will NEVER go unheard!

Cold thick red blood will pour from my neck this day.

It will feel purely of bliss.

In a place called Hell I shall soon lay.
I put the blade to my soft flesh and push down.
Just enough, to be enough; nothing more.

You cry “I’M SO SORRY!” with a distant faded voice.

Everything becomes blurry in confusion, 
and unconsciousness is near.

I feel your warm tear fall and wash away my fear.

I’m glad. I finally feel something less than nothing.

You’re lying by my side, as if you can help, but it’s too late.

The words already spoken, the actions already played.
Maybe it was fate?

I was nothing to you 24 hours ago, remember?

Just “that girl…” nothing more.
You're the one who let me walk out of that door!

Not what you expected and NOT what you wanted.

It took me to slice myself open just for you to notice that I’m really not o.k. …. you amaze me.

Everything seems so tranquil and quiet. I love this.

I start to forget everything, It's all  drifting away,
all the tears, and all of the pain.

I bet you questioned god as I lay on your floor…what god?

Motionless. Silently I'm crying to be loved once more.

All I hear is the noise of you crying and pleading for me to forgive you, but everything went black.
Little do I know, blood, has now overtaken all of our clothing.

It’s wonderful. I smile one last beautiful smile.

As your hand holds on to mine.

Are you sorry yet? I ponder…

I tell you “I hate you..”

This feeling of being loved and wanted won’t last long.

I feel my eyes start to roll, my heart start to freeze.

That’s it for me, I’ll die right here…My hand being squeezed.