It moved about without a sound
but left it's footprints all around.
Double aught buck oughta bring it down.
We'll track it to it's lair.

If need be we'll use the hound
to herd it to the killing ground.
though that fur sample that we found
looks like human hair.

It seems to like to hunt at night,
when the moon is full, the sky is bright.
 Worth more alive.
Ya think we might catch it in a snare?

We could try,
here, use my knife,
but I would almost bet my life
we've caught that big Samoan's wife.
There's lipstick everywhere.

Fast food wrappers by the score.
Look.
Here's the flip flops that it wore.
Half a ton.
Maybe more.
She's cornered.
Best beware.

When we invade it's habitat
be careful.
It might have a bat.
Be ornery as an alley cat.
It's gonna be a war.

Better get some rest tonight.
We'll take her with the morning light.
When she sees us she's gonna fight
Like one tyrannosaur.

Suddenly.
Branches breaking.
Trees cracking.
Earth shaking. 
There's no mistaking
She was making 
like she was one four by four.

Then the one thing that we feared.
She flared her nostrils.
Bucked and reared
and that Samoan disappeared
to be seen and heard no more.