I tried and I tried

You'll orbit a planet.
You'll tunnel through granite.
Clip priceless pieces of art.

Like that guy Thomas Crown
you break everything down
to each constituent part.

Got diamonds and rubies.
Magazine boobies.
You're totally off of the chart.

But you're all about thrills
and elaborate frills.
Face it.
You're not all that smart.

Got ice water blood.
In bed you're a dud.
An emotional holiday mart.

I tried and I tried.
Went way up inside.
But never got close to your heart.