You're my only friend.
My family's all dead .
Who thought I'd live to see the end
of the old homestead?

The paint's all chipped and peeling.
The garden's gone to seed
Leakstains on the ceiling
and a lien on the deed.

The John Deere's finally broken.
Ain't used it in a year.
The rings are shot,
It's smokin' and it won't slip into gear.

"Bout all that's left is "Critter"
She's in the root celler.
Kept the pick of the litter.
A young pup named "Old Yeller".

We got insurance honey,
though I think it's just for life.
I owe a lot or money
to the tax man,(and his wife).

I could sue for malpractice.
Make enough to pay the debt.
Say the neighbors dog attacked us
and see what we could get.

We could do the shopping mall.
Ain't been there in a while.
Have a nasty slip and fall.
Demand a jury trial.

Go to Hertz and get a rental.
We could stage an accident.
Undergo experimental...
Nah...That could be permanent.

Ain't lost the place yet
but I'll have to pull a rabbit.
Ain't got a farm to bet
and gambling's such a nasty habit

Christ!

I'd take this butcher knife,
chop off my only arm.
if I thought it'd pump some life
into the old family farm