How does one become everything they hate?

Generally I am happy but I'm void of any emotion that might lead me to potential relationships

The very thought revolts me.

I guess because of you.

I didn't realize I was this screwed up because of you, a mere being.

How could I allow you to mess up my wires up this bad

and more importantly, how can I fix the ones that are fried?

I put my trust in you as a person

and I;m the only one who stuck by your side

your own friends gave up on you while your family proclaimed their hatred.

We are not meant to be, I do not want an "us"

but how can you hurt the one person who was there for you?

You are the most self destructive person I know

and now that I'm back, your trying again.

I'm sorry but, no.

My heart, my life, is closed off to you.

I have no desire for you

your presence sickens me and the qualities I once saw

now make me laugh.

You are a child and I am much too old for you.

I associate every guy as having your mindset

I was always an optimist and now I find myself SEARCHING for the negative.

I doubt anyone will prove me wrong.

In this life you only have yourself

and a good friend to get you by.

No more.

You can't trust yourself with anyone else.

Once you do, you'll be disappointed.

I'm a shell of the person I once was.

I can fake my happiness to everyone and anyone

Nobody can see through this mask but me.

I'm sick of pretending.

I want the me before you broke her.

Who cares if she was slightly more naive

She was more innocent to pain

and that could in some instances, leave her more vulnerable

but I'd rather be her than the one who lost my trust in people, words, humanity.