My Being

There is a necessary poison that I can not resist.
Tainted by the taste and seduced by the thought.
Swollen and tortured without it deep inside.
Burning to the very core of my existence.

I have mistaken it for love and even as lust.
What it truly is, I don’t know that I can say.
Loss, rage, pain, hatred, jealousy or perhaps doubt.
All of these make me, define me as I.

My torment, my misery, my beautiful sadness.
Mental corruption destroying the heart.
Loathing but yearning the blackness that is End.
As I meet it I find that its true hue is red.

I finally see the other side to this coin of despair.
Of all the knowledge, the truth is that it’s fear.
Swallowed as a complete entity, I am afraid.
Devoured and lost, now I am finished and complete.