Oklahoma

I'm afraid of the day when
You'll drive away from here and not look back
I worry the time will come when
You'll move on to a better life with
Better friends and then I won't matter anymore
I think sometimes that when you leave
I'll be so lost and lonely
I won't know what to do with myself
I know deep down that when you've left then
Gone, too, will be a big piece of my heart
I wonder if you have any idea exactly what
I mean when I say, "I love you," or if anything
I could possibly do could ever make you feel
The same for me
I struggle with the question of whether
I should open up that part of me to you or if
I should build a wall around
My heart and try to pretend it's just a
Meaningless infatuation that will eventually
Fade away the longer you've been gone.
I try to tell myself sometimes that
I don't really love you even though
I know that self-deception is the worst kind
I try to convince myself that when
You leave it won't really bother me very much but
I can feel the saddened sense of loss
I know must surely be coming, BUT
I'm glad you'll be doing
Something that makes you happy
I'll be happy for you that you'll be out of
This shitty little dead-end town
I hope you have all the
Happiness you deserve and
I hope you take every opportunity
Life throws at you to live, laugh, love
I'll always be here if you need me.