It was always winter

I've never seen beauty as
something I should be afraid of,
affection as something I should
be cautious of, and love as something
I should try not to feel...anymore.
Until you, I was strong and proud,
someone not to be fucked with.
I never favored the feeling of being
so vulnerable that I closed my
heart entirely and shut my eyes from
seeing the beauty and despair of love.

Now, my only demise would be you
if I let you in and this weave of bliss and
inevitable fear consumes what I once was,
what I once made myself to be.
A secret garden guarded by thorns and poison.
You are so beautiful that I shed a tear
everytime I realize you're mine
because I am only  a shadow of this mess
we call earth and for you to have seen me as
something you would want to keep, I feel that I fail you.
I have only myself to offer.
A worn out heart afraid of the future,
of love, of another broken heart.

Do you see now what you're getting yourself into?
I could break you down with me with my incessant negativity.