Sea of Agony

I woke up one morning
Seeing your happy smiling face
I smiled back, though I knew you saw
The rotting and decaying insides
That were inside of me.

You smile with your glasses on
They are blue, dark blue
Blue is the color of the world, you know
Blue is the color of emotions, and of life....
Blues is the music of love, and the music of pain
Such is the look of pain you serve to me right now.

You smile at me, knowing something is wrong
You ask me how I'm feeling, though already knowing how I feel.
And I answer that my insides are rotting, that I am tearing
And that eventually, one of these days
That you are going to have to come get me
From this wooden shack I call my home.

I replied, that for the twenty years I have lived here
It has been a sea of turmoiling regrets year round
You reply that it will get better, that not to fret
And under those blue glasses I see those onyx eyes
Onyx is the color of clarity, the color of misery
The color of time, and the color of judgement
As the judgement in your eyes penetrates my soul
I can't wait but to pierce those eyes out with a scapel one of these days.

I go back to bed, and wake up screaming
You race to my bed to find what is wrong
I reply that there is a pool of blood surrounding me
Not at all telling you that I tried to end it all with my scapel
You study me, already knowing what's going on
You race to get the first-aid kit
As I look onto the bedsheets, I see a pool of red
Red is the color of beauty, the color of purgatory
The color of love, and the color of damnation
As I look up into the bedsheets, then at you
I already know that I damned myself to hell.

Oh, if only
If only I could take all of this pain
And send it all into the sea
The sea's got enough room
To fit all of my interminable self-destruction,
And has a lot of room to spare.

But then I look into myself
And realize that I will never be able to drown this pain
My pain is enough to make a sea, two seas, and a lake
My agony will never be able to go away,
And your eyes prove me right.

My agony is a sea
My agony can take out all seas
And as I crawl back to bed
I wonder if even death could cure me of such pain.

S V M
A E E .


A I I H R W Y
S W T E A A .

I M O T
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I M S A F G N .
N Y E O A O Y