disappointment.

thursday, one and a half years gone by
since the day that we became one...
and i am questioning our existance.

i feel like there is a weight on my chest
like no one can save me from the dark..but you.
i feel like i am falling into a vast oblivion of space
and i can rely on nothing but us.

maybe i am investing too much of my heart and soul
into something that everyone says will fail..
maybe i need to search the inside of myself
for the clues that obviously keep me going..
or maybe i'm kept going by attachment?

i love you. i will always love you.
maybe love is my weakness?

anniversaries are so complicated..
as soon as i get happy, i have another disappointment
to bring me back down into the hollows that i call my heart.

should i be disappointed because we didn't do anything
or should i be happy because i did nothing with you?

its a double edged sword, and its stabbing through and through
piercing my stomach and breaking my spine on the way out..
so many questions..so little answers.


*i guess this is what beer does to you.