My 1st child

By Anoblechicken

I'm scared shitless, to be perfectly honest.

I'm pregnant....

only one month to go.. she will be here so soon, i am not ready yet i am not prepared... i love her so much

i love her, and hate myself..
i feel so irresponsible ,

i am scared to know what i have created, scared of who will she become..

i am forced to take a look at my life, and i am forced to change, in such a short amount of time.
i feel like screaming because it's not fair...

i am only a kid myself

it's not about fair... but I am immature and it's hard to make this transition,

this is big... this is real.... i have to step up.. i will

it's so hard to understand what is happening to me.

it's not about me it's about her, i love her so much..

i have so many questions i couldn't write them all if i tried, but i still try.

i know i have no choice... i don't know if i wanted this so soon... i have no choice

and i love her.. i really do,

i just don't know what the fuck i am going to do,

life experience comes with time and well, experience and i thought i had so much but in reality i have no idea what i'm doing. this is something totally new, something that i can't prepare for only, play it by ear and make certain guidelines that no one else can give me.

I'm scared shitless to be perfectly honest.

I'm pregnant.....

Only one month to go... she will be here so soon, i am not ready yet, i am not prepared.. i love her so much...

Help me

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© 2008 Anoblechicken
Published on Wednesday, May 7, 2008.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "My 1st child"

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  • lord_beanus_christ On Friday, May 9, 2008, lord_beanus_christ (7)By person wrote:

    I know how you feel, and Im so sorry that you are scared. I got pregnant when I was 17, and it was the scariest thing I've ever gone through. I was so immature, and wasn't the least bit ready for that kind of adventure. Everything was okay, though. It was really really hard for the first few months, but then gradually it got easier and easier. Having a baby really forces you to grow up. I can honestly say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because I don't know what kind of person I would be today if I hadn't of had Riley. He is almost 4 years old now, and he is just so awesome. I really feel proud of myself because, although it's been really hard, I made it. I got through it, and my son is wonderful, and he is so smart and cute and everyone loves him. I can't tell you how awesome it is to be able to look at this little baby in front of you, and know that YOU made him. That he/she will have YOUR features. It's so amazing. I wish I could tell you that times ahead won't be difficult because unfortunately they will. Sometimes, you will get so scared and think that there's no way that you can go on. But, everything will be just fine. You just have to hang on. Some advice: Sleep whenever the baby sleeps during the day. You

  • lord_beanus_christ On Friday, May 9, 2008, lord_beanus_christ (7)By person wrote:

    may look around your house and think that there's a million things you need to do, but DONT. Just sleep. Gas drops are your best friend. You get them at the store in a little bottle. I cannot tell you how important that is...no joke :O). Also, get one of those chairs that vibrate and put it in front of a running dishwasher if you can't get the baby to sleep. Also, driving around in the car will put a baby to sleep fast too. Anyways, there are so many things I want to say, but I promise it will really just fall into place. You will be a great mother. Keep your head up, and if you need anything or just want to talk, let me or anyone else know. Dont be afraid to call someone to vent. Its pretty important for your sanity.

  • RubyXero On Friday, May 9, 2008, RubyXero (481)By person wrote:

    well i understand how you feel. i have 4 months...no husband, no boyfriend, no support really. i work and buy as much as i can to prepare. read books to educate myself. but i'm scared too... i didn't even know if i even wanted to have kids. all i can advise is prepare as best you can. cuz a child does need more then just love, or it'll die. talk to anyone you know with children...ask for advice. you'll figure it...best of luck to you. 1 month...wow. that is soon. :)

  • A former member wrote: everyone should be scared shitless when having their first kid...but take it in stride.

  • freudian-slip On Wednesday, May 7, 2008, freudian-slip (236)By person wrote:

    you have incredible insight, have more faith. All that baby deserves is your love (which she already has), and for you to have faith in yourself. Easier said than done, I know in so many ways. The transition isn't overnight and it's over time. A lifetime. and by no means are you alone. g

  • A former member wrote: all I can say is don't take any pointers from me.....

  • A former member wrote: I thought I was pregnant recently, and it scared me shitless, mostly because I couldn't take care of myself, much less a tiny child, and also because I was afraid I would turn out like mother. My doctor thinks I had a miscarriage, and that hurts even worse. Babies are a blessing. Think of yourself as blessed because you're pregnant. I'm here to help as much as I can, because I understand that fear. I'm sure your little girl will be gorgeous, and that you will love her unconditionally like any mother should. Your bringing love into this world, and a mother's love is like no other. Please remember that, and know that there are people here to support you. Not only me.

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