What Limes

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Story of a man
makes me sick.
inside, outside
I don't know why
something so conditional
and all talk
should hurt me so.

I am hurt
I am scared
I want to live
I want to die
I don't know
where to turn
in the void
and when
to cut
out

For no church told me
no Guru holds me
no advice
just stone
of New York
and on the cafeteria
we hear
the Saxophone
O dead Ruby
dies of Shot
in '32
sounding like old times
and de bombed
empty decapitaded
murder by the clock.
And I see shadows
Dancing into Doom
in love, holding
tight the lovely asses
of the little girls
sowing themselves
in white undergarments
at elevated windows
hoping for the Worst.

I can't take it
anymore
if I can't hold
my little behind
to me in my room

Then it's good-bye
Sangsara
for me
Besides
girls aren't as good
as they look
and Samhadi
is better
than you think
when it starts in
hittin your head
with Buzz
of glittergold
heaven's angels
wailing
sayin
We've been waiting for you
Since Morning Jack
_why were you so long
dallying in the Sooty room?
This Transcendental Brilliance
is the better part
(of nothingness
I sing)

Okay.
Quit.
Mad.
Stop.

-Part of Kerouac's Bowery Blues, 1955

"if you hang out with wolves, you'll learn to howl"- a fortune cookie after chinese dinner in New Orleans







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