Comments by Nimue44
- "Indeed- I saw some V for Vendetta colors in there. The work's rhythm sounds like declamation, as if some leader is shouting those lines from a stage or before a battlefield. Just be careful with the your and you're- it paces down the reading. The game of words is smart, but the 'cool' adjective... I don't know, it diminishes the seriousness? "
Posted by Nimue44 on "Revenge - would like the poems flaws and pros" by Steven86175
- "I guess a lot of people would be shocked from reading this- but for atheists is not as shocking. I can suppose. It has a desperate, frantic, almost revengeful tone. Truth cannot be denied, and emotion reigns when you shout it, but it does not have a crystal clear line of thought of why do you believe that. I don't know if you intended to explain yourself, but I think I got the message."
Posted by Nimue44 on "The End- really need feedback" by Steven86175
