Revenge - would like the poems flaws and pros
By Steven86175
Hate in your heart
God as your whip
I ask you stop
I'll make you quit
You speak of love
You think we're bound
But soon enough
I won't be found
I'll make you regret
Every word youv said
All the things youv done
All the things you planned
They think your nice
They think your cool
But they don't know the reality of you
Youv locked me up
Sentenced for speaking
Spreading truth
Creating ideas
While alienating you
Iv seen you cry
Iv heard you scream
Iv felt your wrath
Soon my soul will flee
Out of these bars
Into the streets
Around the corner
Now behind your feet
Now you'll see
Retaliation in action
Soon to be a revolution then a revelation
Because ideas are strong
Ideas are true
Ideas will bring us together
To make you black and blue
You may yell
You may swing
But ideas indestructible
Bulletproof
Can't you see?
Your a diabolical ruler
Spreading hate
Disguised as love
No more clean slates
We're changing the state.
The idea is moving
Jumping from tip of tongues
Now the truth is behind your lying teeth
Tomorrow you'll be hung.
Author's Note:
v for vendetta was a slight inspiration. Take this poem as you want. it has the potential to be multiple points of view.Comments on "Revenge - would like the poems flaws and pros"
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On Thursday, September 17, 2015, Nimue44
(289) wrote:
Indeed- I saw some V for Vendetta colors in there. The work's rhythm sounds like declamation, as if some leader is shouting those lines from a stage or before a battlefield. Just be careful with the your and you're- it paces down the reading. The game of words is smart, but the 'cool' adjective... I don't know, it diminishes the seriousness?