Revenge - would like the poems flaws and pros

By Steven86175

Hate in your heart

God as your whip

I ask you stop

I'll make you quit

You speak of love

You think we're bound

But soon enough

I won't be found

I'll make you regret

Every word youv said

All the things youv done

All the things you planned

They think your nice

They think your cool

But they don't know the reality of you

Youv locked me up

Sentenced for speaking

Spreading truth

Creating ideas

While alienating you

Iv seen you cry

Iv heard you scream

Iv felt your wrath

Soon my soul will flee

Out of these bars

Into the streets

Around the corner

Now behind your feet

Now you'll see

Retaliation in action

Soon to be a revolution then a revelation

Because ideas are strong

Ideas are true

Ideas will bring us together

To make you black and blue

You may yell

You may swing

But ideas indestructible

Bulletproof

Can't you see?

Your a diabolical ruler

Spreading hate

Disguised as love

No more clean slates

We're changing the state.

The idea is moving

Jumping from tip of tongues

Now the truth is behind your lying teeth

Tomorrow you'll be hung.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2015 Steven86175
Published on Tuesday, September 15, 2015.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

v for vendetta was a slight inspiration. Take this poem as you want. it has the potential to be multiple points of view.
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "Revenge - would like the poems flaws and pros"

Log in to post comments.
  • Nimue44 On Thursday, September 17, 2015, Nimue44 (289)By person wrote:

    Indeed- I saw some V for Vendetta colors in there. The work's rhythm sounds like declamation, as if some leader is shouting those lines from a stage or before a battlefield. Just be careful with the your and you're- it paces down the reading. The game of words is smart, but the 'cool' adjective... I don't know, it diminishes the seriousness?

Contribution Level

Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]

Attention: Darkpoetry is now in maintenance mode and will be shutting down soon. Save your work if you wish to keep it.