pissed off rant from a pissed off youth from a pissedoff country

anger is the animal.

the animal that is kept locked away in this bag of flesh every one looks threw and passes over.

the one that is there no mater what the fuck hapens the one who sudenly exist clear as day when something is to be gained.

hiden behind thies angle eyes lies something most people just can't see or simply chose not to see.

for not all demons have animal ragefull eyes.

no not the ones that can be the most dangerouse do the most damage....

....have the most fun....

i've said for years that its sliping further and further out of control building like raging storm waters caught behind a poorly made damn.

i've called out the warnings to those that matter to me.
i've writen down and shown it to thousands on this site.

all very pretty little poetry to pass the time to pointlessly help keep it under control.

and time and time again i've said i want to let it out and to agree with it to be one with it.
to stop being this nice little fucking bitch boy for people to use and walk all over tell i no long serve a purpouse but to take up space around them.

and yet still i've tried to hide it to burry it in a grave yard of lies and personal deseption and yet threw out all this time its even gained its self a name...
....grave....

its slowly coming into power over this little pathetic fucking angleboy i've been walking around as.
showing me things from its point of view things it could and would do.
simply cuts away all the bullshit to purest almost animalistic instinct.
and quit frankly that is such a scary thing to face the beast in the mirror and see only you looking back

always the same fucking ice blue eyes hiding truthes and mocking me as if im not even human not even alive just an insicnificant wast standing there staring back at the real thing. challenging me and pitying me at the same time. it makes me sick to look into those blue eyes as if there telling me im so damn blind that i don't even see the real world in front of me just off living some little lie cuz i can't handle the truth. and that pisses me off even more.

my uncle one in a million he is. and here i am a dim a fuckn million never been in trouble with the cops really. graduating highschool a semester late but still graduating have some kinda plan for my fucking life atleast and yet you'ld thing i was some god damn ex con that got caught killing people left and right and just fuckn to stupid to do anything right.

ready to kick me out of the house i stay at the drop of a hat then yet his son my cuz owns the other half of the house and says im not movin that hed rather i stay and to not make an enemy of the man that might as well be declaring war or complet and tottal submission patheticly.

well no fuck that shit i've submited to him and every one my whole fucking life and no more will i continue on living that way either it dies or i die atleast with some dignity and respect as the old ways teach.

so here he is grave comeing to life no one can stop it no one can help it im closer than i ever was to fucking snaping to the point were i don't even wanna be in the same room with my best god damn friend that i wanna live with all cuz i don't wanna fuckn fight him with all my little fucking issues just lookn for a fight.

so i am left to pay for my little sins that barely even add up to anything and to pay for every one elses just because im the one they chose. well im no fucking marter and if its my life they fucking want they can have it cuz i sure as hell don't want it any more not at this point. im ready to move on to the next one or to float in nothingness or to go to hell if thats what waits me there.

and don't get me wrong my uncle is a prick but yet im thankfull for all he's done for me and my mother who i can't seem to have a good relationship with and my father who tries harder than any one and i respect more than any one. even all my friends old and current. all the boys i love em all hell even there parents might as well be in the group. to all the ex's i've had im sorry for the shit they delt with all together and if there is one person im ment for im sorry to them to though personaly i don't believe they exist. to all my family i love you all but i wont just play the bullshit little games. why cant u just love each other and leave it at that. and to kyle man you might as well be my fuckn blood man my brother and i leave this shit to you to do with as u please just as you have done to me. and please one one sheed a tear for me for that tear would be a wast.

so to u all i say good bye.

(no im not going to kill my self to any one who reads this atleast im not going to now. this is meerly me venting some seriouse pissed off rage and emotions at the moment and it never hurts to have a letter just in case. and i know the views on suicide very on this site from extremly against to completly understanding. so please don't be offended or take this as a suicide note. just go on with ur lives and be happy. especially for all the ones that never got to see that happyness.)